Growing up I can remember my mom being the stricter parent out of my group of friends. I had an earlier curfew for more years than I would like to admit, I wasn’t allowed riding in cars with teenagers {for a very long time}, I couldn’t do a sleepover and I certainly wasn’t allowed coming and going as I pleased. As a mom it scares me to think of what the world may be like when my daughters get older. It seems like every time I turn on the news nothing good is ever happening. If there isn’t a new terrorist threat, then there is a terrorist threat being followed through with or kids and young adults deciding they need to not only end their lives but the lives of their fellow classmates and or coworkers. It’s crazy to wish for a time when all you had to worry about were your kids possibly being kidnapped and teaching them about “Stranger danger”. If none of that is enough to scare you, then you have law enforcement; instead of being protectors of the law they are now our judge, jury, and executioner. Taking the lives of African-Americans like it’s a sport. Unfortunately it was and clearly still is a sport for wonderful white America.
Here I am raising two beautiful brown skin daughters, who lately have been asking me is my skin color a problem? I have to be honest with them and the answer is absolutely YES, but that is not the only problem. Their American, their kids, their colored, and their female. Right now on this date ALL of these things have the potential to take their life. Telling them the truth is not hard; the why is the hardest answer. Why being an American can get you killed, why being a kid can get you killed, why being of color can get you killed, why being a female can get you killed.
I can of course give the textbook answer to these questions I can even give my opinion and the truth behind these answers. But I don’t want to, I don’t want to have to explain to them all the things stacked against them, all the dangers they face every time they walk out the door to go to school. Because then I will have to admit I’m afraid to send them to school, to let them spend time with their friends, to let them go to events. I’m afraid of them growing up. I would like to keep them in the safety of our home and let the world keep moving but me and my kids stay in our home. I don’t want them to live in the fear that I live in wondering can anyone else’s actions today or fears today or recklessness today take the lives of my kids or anyone I love. I just want them to be happy and enjoy their childhood. I want them to grow up to be the women I know they can be and I want them to accomplish all their dreams and more.
As I am letting them grow and find their own in this world I will continue to educate them. No matter how much I try to shelter them from it they are growing up in a world full of hate. They may see it through the news, hear it from peers, or witness it firsthand. I’m not sure where we go from here. As an individual, as a nation, as a mother I’m still lost. I still don’t know what to do, what can we do? How can we protect our innocent children, make them aware of dangerous situations while not scaring them? It’s such a fine line and I can only hope and pray that I do right by my children and that God will take care of the rest.
