Every nine seconds, a woman in the U.S is beaten or assaulted by a current or ex-significant other. #DomesticViolenceAwareness
Sharing my story will never get old or tiring. For five years I lived with both verbal and physical abuse at the hands of my daughters father. I thought about leaving many times, I called the police on multiple occasions. I said this is the last time about 500x, I slept with a knife under my pillow with thoughts of taking his life and ending it all. So many things went through my head, when I would see my daughters cry because I was being hit or because I was screaming, crying, begging for him to stop a piece of me would die every single time. I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t tell myself I didn’t deserve this treatment, I couldn’t tell myself this wasn’t how someone is supposed to love you. My mom did not raise me to allow a man to belittle, and degrade me. If the verbal and physical abuse wasn’t enough there was infidelity and children conceived outside the relationship. There absolutely nothing good about this relationship and the only small joy it brought was the birth of my daughter. I couldn’t even enjoy her because I was suffering from postpartum and PTSD. I could not enjoy either of my children. I was in a hole, a hole I could not fight my way out of even though I wished, prayed, pleaded to get the strength to wake up every morning and this be the morning I would leave.
I stayed way to long, I let it go on way to long, I doubted myself way to long. But I survived, I did it, it took me hitting rock bottom but I did it. I know first hand that it isn’t easy, I know even though everyone in your life says “just leave it’s not hard” I know it is. I know you want to leave I know when he/she walks out the door you want to run, you want someone to knock at the door and drag you away. You want to click your heels three times and start over, take back the day you met him/her. We cannot turn back time but we can walk away now. We have to believe in ourselves, we have to know we have support. If you don’t have family or friends you can turn too, you have me and her and him and them the strangers waiting to hear from you and hear the words help me I need out of this relationship or just help me. You may feel alone but YOU’RE NOT ALONE! We are here to help by any means necessary. Leave NOW! Somebody cares about you.
It doesn’t matter how long it has been going on. One day, ten days, one year, ten years you can always walk away and start over. I would rather you start over than die by the hands of your abuser or your depression. Today is the day let go of your fear and put yourself first. You will see all the pieces fall into place once you let go. Trust me I did it so can you. Lets break this cycle #DomesticViolenceAwareness
